My brief was short and simple:

a) a piece of fiction
b) serious
c) no football

I am not sure it follows the spirit of an Urf but do go and read, and let me know what you think.

Will post here later.

I was just walking back to work, after picking up my lunch when I heard a quite voice say

‘Hi, how are you doing today’.

I stopped fiddling with the iPod controls and looked up to find one of those volunteers, with a bag, a badge and a pair of the clearest blue eyes I have seen in recent times. The clarity held your attention. And the voice held it some more.

‘Hello’ I mumbled back.

‘On your way to work?’ she asked

‘Yeah, just picking up some lunch and heading back’

‘Ok, do you have a couple of minutes’

‘Yeah sure’

‘Have you heard of Amnesty International’

‘Yeah sure, it’s an international organisation which does all kinds of stuff for human rights and anti-violence and war crimes and all that..’

‘That’s correct!’ she gushed, ‘It’s such a pleasure to meet someone who knows something about us, allow me shake your hand.’

‘ummm, yeah’ i mumbled some more and offered my hand, trying to juggle the pod, the glasses and the lunch in my left hand.

After some more talk, she came down to her campaign.

‘We are currently running a campaign to Stop Violence Against Women‘

I figured this was not the right time to tell her that going by my experiences in the past decade all the violence had been committed by women against me, and there was very little chance of any act of violence originating in my little peace loving brain.

‘ 2 out of 3 women in Australia suffer from some sort of domestic violence at the hands of their partner. Your support and contributions will go towards helping those who suffer.’

I couldn’t say no after I heard all she had to say (and domestic violence is a nasty memory I am trying to forget too often – it was a big part of my childhood and my family is still dealing with the aftermath) – it’s always a thought that we want to do something – and we want to change the world and we, or atleast I, wait for some fancy earth shaking opportunity in which we can save the world. Or wait till we have made it big, so that we can offer our time and money when we have plenty of both.

Of course, it’s always later.

We can still change the world a little at a time. Maybe a dollar a day. That’s the easiest option.

So don’t just sit there, do something.

Go on, see how you can help – if just two of you do something tangible, and get two more people to do something, this would be the perfect gift.

So, I am begging you – Help. All the people. Who need just a little of your time or money.

You have plenty of both.

More about Amnesty International here.

Let me know how you fared. Modesty prevents me from telling you that I scored more in the second part than the first. Damn, my mind is playing tricks on me again.

– Helen Keller

Quoted by Steve in The courage to live consciously

Yes we can!

We know that readers (ok, ok, the single reader – fine!) of this blog are very discerning gentlemen (if you are a lady please leave your number in the comments section) with refined tastes and superior intelligence. And therefore they take a strong interest in foreign affairs and stuff like the socioeconomic factors which impact the length of the lower garment worn by the distaff members of the human race, and the cultural impact of human sacrifices to the great lord cthulhu. And like all average writers, I too, must take care of my audience and provide them with the kind of reading which will make for intelligent dinner table conversation, and enhance the readers possibility of contributing to the propogation of the human species – we all know how chicks dig stuff they cant understand.

Therefore, this week we shall discuss ‘foreign culture’ so that you can show what a wise (and wealthy – chicks dig the green stuff too – no we are not talking about the fungus on your boxers, dude) and well traveled gentleman you are, the topic will be ‘bar conversations with aussie gentlemen’

Ok, so you are in Oz. You survived the rubber steak they served you on Qantas, and the sniffer dogs and the customs inspection at the airport – you have stowed your luggage and changed into bata rubber chappals (referred to as Thongs by the locals – no, not those kind of thongs) and you have wonderful pair of sunglasses parked on your head and you have decided to start your immersion in aussie culture by dipping a toe at the neighbourhood drinking hole. You have practice your ‘maite’ and have the drawl down to a t. You have done your research on the beer, and know that you can’t go in and order Fosters, because it is not Australian for beeahh. But are you prepared for the biggest challenge? You don’t even know what it is, how can you be prepared? You are lucky that some dude sitting in CERN decided to make this thing called the internet so that reading this could save your sorry a**.

Enter bar

Drink in gorgeous blondes in skimpy bikinis draped all over the place. The blondes, not the bikinis dumbo.

Realise that the tree trunks against which some of them are leaning are rippling in an oddly menacing manner.

Gulp twice as you realize aforementioned tree trunks belong to her boyfriend, and are not tree trunks but his arms.

Avert eyes, and head towards bar looking sheepish while at the same time pulling the sunglasses over your eyes to hide sheepishness and assume coolness (great face saving devices, sunglasses)

Go up to the bar, and ask bartender for pint of Pure Blonde or VB or Little Creatures or Corona (Anything else and you are risking recently saved face)

Realise that you have been giving your order to the beer taps.

Remove sunglasses from eyes, locate gorgeous bar tender.

Replace jaw in socket, lift eyes a couple of inches and looking at her FACE – resubmit petition for beer of choice.

Take beer, smile say thank you (to her face) and then move towards empty table / empty space/ friends.

Take a swig of your drink, and act cool. Which means don’t open your mouth, don’t letch at the bartender from across the open spaces and act as though everything in the world bores you. The same effect can be achieved by trying to recollect the last time you were in close vicinity of such pulchritude while simultaneously trying to calculate the 4^th root of Pi. Watch the match on the telly and yell Terimaaaki¹ when an Aussie wicket falls. Ok, that might be a long wait, when anything remotely exciting happens – such as the changeover of the commentary team. Smile at the bunch of aussies staring at you and say ‘ Hi, how you doing ‘ No wait, I use that elsewhere – Say ‘Hey, Wassup?’. ‘Mate’ remember to draw it out. The rest of the conversation should be pretty straightforward –

You: ‘Hey, Wassup Maite’

Aussie: Hey, enjoying the cricket?

You : Yup, you guys are finally learning to play – pretty soon we will be evenly matched if you guys keep it up

Aussie: Ha Ha Ha, you subtle sarcastic rascal you – why don’t you sleep with my girlfriend and my sister tonight? – (yeah right, what are you drinking? – aussies wont get sarcasm so easily)

Rewind: Aussie: thoughtful. Slow smile as the humor strikes – hahahaha. You guys are worse than the poms

You: yeah except that we win sometimes..

Aussie: grinning, so what do you do, my name is steve.

You: Hi, my name is (insert your name here)2 I work at (insert your job here) while auditioning for movies as a 7-11 clerk

Aussie: Oh, my friend Steve works there too? Have you met him?

You: Oh yes, Steve C is your mate? I didn’t realize he had such splendid friends who are a boon to humanity

Aussie: No no, not Steve C – Steve the guy in account.

You: Ooooh, you mean Steve Adams – yeah I know him.

Aussie: No, no – not Steve Adams, wait let me find out what his full name is – (calls girlfriend over) Hey Nicole, whats Steve’s full name?

Nicole: You mean my brother Steve?

Aussie: No, no the other Steve – the one who works at (insert name of company)

Nicole: Steve K

Aussie: Yes, Yes Steve K

You: (Politely) Sorry, I am not sure if I have met him but I’ll defnly look him up.

Aussie: Nicole, meet my new friend – he works with Steve

You: Hi Nicole, I’m (insert name)

Nicole: I am sorry, I didn’t get that, how do you spell it ?

You (giving up the ghost): Es Tee Eee Vee Eee – My friends call me Steve

This ends our current instalment of the Aussie chapter on improving your chances of contributing to the gene pool.

Previous chapters on culture here.

Previous chapters on Oz here and here.

¹ This was actually the name of a quiz team in college (I was a visiting member) – we used to say it in an anglicized manner when introducing the team so people rarely realized what we had actually said.

² Reminds me of the time we sent our team mate to present at an advertising case competition (at an equally well known institute of management in eastern India) with a deck finished at 5 am after a party – which had everything except the final tagline – we left it as insert tagline here. Which is exactly how our team mate presented it. No, we didn’t win that one.

And I was just shaking my head and thinking, there is no escaping this.

And I sat through, and read the whole chapter – and I might even give the whole book a shot (yeah I know, it’s a good one, but it’s so popular, I find it difficult to pick up anything so popular )

It goes through the placing principles at the center of your life as opposed to work/play/pleasure/partners/friends – and creating a balance among the different areas in my life.

And of course, finding out what is important for you.

In terms of fundamentals – what I will do is :

LEARN

Share what I learn or TEACH

WRITE

GROW

LOVE

PLAY

SHARE

LAUGH

NURTURE

And how does this reflect in the goals I set for myself this year – earlier at a staff conference?

……………………………………………..

Fitness:

• Mental: Regular reading, restart chess, eat good food, join mensa
• Spiritual: Restart regular meditation/Yoga atleast 2 days a week
• Physical: Regular running, play soccer for a team, and get tennis back to competitive levels

Writing:

Financial goals:

• Save x%
• Own a particular asset
• Invest regularly

Inter – personal Goals:

• Closely inspect self for commitment issues
• Avoid frivolous dead end relationships
• Look for mutual growth
• Be genuine and make genuine friends

Guidelines for achieving goals:

The Art of Living by Epictetus

Desiderata

The Invitation

……………………………………………………….

As the psalm says (from Chaper 2 again)

‘Search your own heart with all diligence for out of it flow the issues of life.’

Do not stand at my grave and weep, for I will see you on the other side.

I was reading this book last night. It had this conversation between an old couple. Talking about what they should have done. And could have done. And the chances they didn’t take.

And it’s something I have talked about before.

And wondered about too, what is really important to you?

When you are sitting on your bed, making your peace with the world, at the end of your life – what are you going to regret?
The chances you didn’t take, or the silly risks you did?
The book you didn’t write or the time you spend chasing big bucks and promotions at work?
The clothes you didn’t buy or the places you didn’t visit?
The people you had a fight with or the ones you didn’t spend enough time with?
Do you have a filter right now, to figure out the important choices for you?
And if you do, are you using that knowledge you have, to make those tough choices?

Or are you living in default, moving along with the default choices, which don’t require much thought, and don’t offer too much resistance.

And have you thought about the reverse case. What if you lose one of your friends to death?
What are your regrets then? Did you tell them all that you should have? Could have?
Do you end up wishing that you had few more days, or weeks, to tell that friend how much she/he means to you?
Do you remember the argument you had? Or the anger you felt?

What would you do?

These are some answers I am looking for, as I look to enact my death. In the sense of imagining my last day on earth and seeing what it is I’d rather be doing.

And that means a few days off.

A few days of electronic silence.

Feel free to leave flowers.

No single thing abides,
But all things flow
Fragment to fragment clings
And things thus grow.

- Lucretius, On the Nature of Things

(hat tip to a very wise woman – who sent me this when i was in school)

As i struggle with limits, and boundaries and try to make the most of my many deficiencies – I’m also struggling to find out whether I am taking the easy way or the hard way? I’ve always been a fan of taking the tougher option, not that I am a masochist or anything, but sometimes the bigger rewards lie behind the tougher option. So then, is quitting the tougher option – even if it never was an option? Or is not?

Of course, the answer could be simple – follow your heart. And let what will be, be.

I just started soccer training this last week. And all though the first couple of sessions were pure misery ( it’s been close to a year since I did some proper training – thanks to an ACL injury) but things are getting better.

And I have two options for teams – one is a very good team, with a lot of good players where I doubt if I would make it to the playing 11 (given my current form and fitness) – the other option is an average team with players who are not as good as the first option – which probably means more playing time, and also more work for me.

So both options would call for some hard work. Option a – just to keep up and break into the team, Option b – to win games, and make the most out of the team.

It’s almost exactly like the difference between a joining a big established multinational firm and joining a boutique type start-up. Both provide different learning experiences.

As of now, I am training with big team on weekdays, and playing with the small team on weekends. But it’s only been a week. That’s 3 games, 2 goals, some embarrassing slip ups, a couple of good moments, lots of agony and stiffness – and no smoking – except for the urge to gorge on junk food post the game. And the fact that I feel so good post training – I get home at 10:30 PM and cant sleep till well past midnight.

So let’s see how these choices play out.